Category Archives: Procrastination
Procrastination For The Nation #236
With a novel to finish and a new project to work on, I obviously have time for some hardcore procrastination. Okay, I really don’t have the time, but I found Eff My Pic and the resulting pictures were too good not to share. This is such an easy to use site. You simply upload any picture, choose an effect such as turning it into graffiti, framing it in a gallery or even shredding or burning it; and sit back to wait for the results. This seems like some wondrous magic to a Photoshop-phobe like me 
Apologies in advance to my immediate family, I couldn’t help myself…
The Muma Lisa – Beautiful art to thrill culture-types for centuries (maybe).
Every step you take, Cazz will be watching you…
My husband’s face on a pair of pants. Nuff’ said.
Wanted for Crimes Against Head Wear – The Inscrutable El Dado
Local Ginger Hoodie Makes the Bournemouth News
And finally, we have Dunraven Road on a giant billboard…
…and on a man’s chest. Well, why not?
Put the Knitting Needles Down!!
*** Fibre Geekery Alert! ***
I’ve already mentioned that I like to knit. Well, when I’m deep into procrastination mode, I also like to look at knitting patterns, blogs about knitting; and even social networking sites devoted to knitting (I did warn you this was going to be geekery-heavy…) Anyhoo, this blatant perusal of fibre porn inevitably leads me to inspired blogs like this – You Knit What??, a gallery of horrors displaying some of the most atrocious items ever crafted from yarn. Some particular gems are the eye-watering jumper that looks like a lady garden, the toddler’s straight jacket and this fun fur nightmare. Sadly, the blog is no longer being updated, but it did inspire me to share some of the revolting knits I’ve found on my own internet travels (and believe me, there are many, many to choose from, eek!).
Warning – The following pictures are not for the faint of heart!!
Do you think this child grew up to be a well-rounded, productive member of society? No, me neither.
And then someone inflicted it on a poor, innocent Blythe doll. That’s just cruel.
This wouldn’t keep you very warm! Apparently, it’s a merkin which, according to Wikipedia, is “a pubic wig, originally worn by prostitutes after shaving their genitalia.” Nice.
This is called the Hunter’s Set (honestly). Rapist couture for the prowler with taste.
Because I’ve always wanted to dress like a giant condom.
Woolly body bag? Creepy punishment system? Who the hell knows? All I know is, there’s an entire website filled with similar bizarre knits by this designer, all for sale at ridiculously extravagant prices. Here’s another one:
Wait, it gets better…
This inexplicable sweater (cape? poncho?) could be used as a Halloween costume. Possibly.
This one just freaks me out. Useful if you’re a blind cave fish with a cold face.
Finally, for the uber-geek, why not knit an ugly hat on purpose?! Firefly fans will no doubt remember the episode that Jayne is sent a hideous hand-knitted hat in a package from his mother, which he proceeds to wear for the entire episode. If you’re having trouble remembering it, here it is in all its orange, ear-flappy glory:
Well, now you can knit your own. Goddess bless the internet.
Procrastination For The Nation #154
I’m not a mean person, so when I stumbled across Save An Alien and was informed that “10,000,000 aliens lost their planet. They are going to DIE!”, I felt I had to save one… right?!
Mere minutes after signing up, I found myself confronted with a simpering ginger alien called Duki who kept demanding food – obviously so he could fill up the rather fetching golden nappy he was wearing.
Don’t believe in aliens? Here’s photographic proof!
Since his adoption, Duki has settled into his new life on Earth reasonably well. I do sometimes find little “presents” deposited at the corners of the carpet, but rubbing his snub nose into the stinking matter seems to be teaching him proper toilet etiquette in record time!
In Which I Decide To Come Out Of The Woolly Closet…
…But before that exciting announcement (!), I have a plan for those of you who would like their copies of Dunraven Road signed. I’ve decided to create some signed bookplates for anyone who would like one, all I need from you is the cost of postage (I don’t want to sound stingy and would love to send the bookplates out for free, but blah, blah, credit crunch, blah, blah, recession… You get the idea). So… here’s a nifty chart I whipped up with postage details for different countries:
| Europe: £1.72 |
| United Kingdom (Excludes Channel Islands): £0.59 |
| United States: £3.00 |
| Rest of the world: £3.00 |
Unfortunately, WordPress refuses to show the neat little PayPal buttons I made, so if you’d like a signed bookplate please head over to my website.
Now for my dark secret… I’m a secret knitter! No, I’m not “old before my time” as someone once suggested, because I make stuff like this…
I proudly present to the world, Fry and Leela from Futurama. I made these as a birthday present for my husband – who knew a grown man could get so much pleasure from two knitted dolls? Here’s Fry and Leela, um, relaxing?:
If anyone is interested, I used patterns from Carol Meldrum’s awesome Knitted Icons: 25 Celebrity Doll Patterns
Also, while I’m on the subject… Were these two separated at birth?!
 Phillip J. Fry |
 La Roux |
Interesting if true…
Procrastination for the Nation #112
I’ve just spent 20 minutes creating my own Meez… Yes, it’s precious time I will never get back, but now I know what I would look like if a skeleton attacked me. That could happen, right?
(I don’t actually wear cheerleader’s mini skirts in real life… Sorry.)
Well, I Do Love To Spank My Inner Geek…
| What Be Your Nerd Type?
Your Result: Literature Nerd
Does sitting by a nice cozy fire, with a cup of hot tea/chocolate, and a book you can read for hours even when your eyes grow red and dry and you look sort of scary sitting there with your insomniac appearance? Then you fit this category perfectly! You love the power of the written word and it’s eloquence; and you may like to read/write poetry or novels. You contribute to the smart people of today’s society, however you can probably be overly-critical of works. It’s okay. I understand. |
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| Gamer/Computer Nerd |
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| Artistic Nerd |
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| Drama Nerd |
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| Social Nerd |
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| Anime Nerd |
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| Science/Math Nerd |
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| Musician |
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| What Be Your Nerd Type? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz |
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I don’t know if my eyes ever get red and dry, or if I actually contribute anything to the smart people of today’s society… but I am damn over-critical! Wow, this quiz is laced with some kind of wonderous magic, for it knows my every thought…
I got marks for being a drama nerd?! WTF?!
