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Farewell Dracula: Death of an Immortal
If you’d read any of my blog tour guest posts, you’d know how I feel about the current state of the vampire in popular culture. The vampire is now a simpering, glittering emo turd who spends his days mooning after adolescent girls and not ravaging their necks and drinking from their shredded jugulars. He is instead applauded for hanging onto his bloody virtue and abstaining from indulging in his base nature. What a boring load of stinking shit, right? Or at least I think it is. I was brought up on demonic, decadent vampires with little if any regard for human life. Vampires aimed at an adult audience like Lestat de Lioncourt and The Lost Boys’s David. This was the sort of vampire I wanted to create and was what I had in mind when I wrote Dunraven Road and Jinn Nation.
Therefore, it upsets me somewhat when readers expect my novels to read like yet another Twilight rip-off. Fictional vampires do not live and die with Stephanie Meyer, people!! (Well, they may well have died…) I’ve now received at least three reader reviews slating me for not providing troubled, sensitive vampires who gnash their blunted teeth over their unrequited, practically pre-pubescent loves. I didn’t and would never set out to write this kind of simple, first-person narrated slush disguised as a loving tribute to self-denial. Real vampires don’t do self-denial.
I know that not everyone will love every novel ever written. Some people will downright hate my work and that’s okay with me; having different tastes and different opinions is all part of being human. What really pisses me off though are those readers who hate me precisely because my books aren’t Twilight clones. The sentiment I especially love is that my vampires should be glittery and tame (and boring!) because that’s just what vampires are, right? WRONG! Did Count Dracula sparkle? Did he weep and wail because it was so hard to abstain from drinking blood? No, he tore through virgins like Edward Cullen tears through a nutritious nut loaf on Christmas day. Yet, I still get comments like this: “I would presume the author has aimed this book at the YA audience but I would have problems passing this on to my fourteen year old daughter to read.” Why would you presume this? Because all vampire novels are Twilight?! My novels are NOT suitable for fourteen year olds; they’re full of swearing, drug use, violent death and nasty sex. They are written for adults, because grown-ups are allowed to read about creatures of the night too. To be fair to this reviewer, her review was honest with well thought out opinions (if inaccurate presumptions). It could be worse. I recently enjoyed being reviewed by a teenager who hated my book so much because it was “nit what I thought” (sic), she wished she had the paper version so she had something physical to throw against a wall. Or burn.
Well you can all congratulate yourselves, Twilight freaks, I give up. My hands are in the air, I’m backing away. I had entertained the idea of writing a sequel to Jinn Nation, of breaking Dylan out of his coffin at some point in the future and sending him out to tear his way through the world again, but at the moment I just don’t think I’ll ever have the energy to write it. Fighting against what Stephanie Meyer has done to one of my favourite literary characters is exhausting and ultimately soul destroying. People expect glitter, they expect tortured souls and joyless teenagers with all the rebellious spirit of a dried out slug and when they don’t get it, they leave you rancid reviews all over the internet.
Farewell dear Count Dracula, your reign is over.
"So is Bella a zombie? She's always just like standing there with her mouth open and she acts like she's dead." ~ Beavis & Butthead
Like this:
A Tale of Three Covers
So, my earnings from publishing independently have surpassed my earnings from publishing with a small press. Exciting, right?! Of course, I didn’t have to earn very much to reach this goal (seriously), but it’s quite a personal milestone nonetheless 
I think it’s helping that I’ve been slowly uploading my back catalogue. You can now buy Dunraven Road (my first dark fantasy novel featuring the indomitable vampire Dylan), A Trio of Devils, a collection of three horror/paranormal short stories (including The Lycanthrope Technician which was awarded the title of Dark Fire Fiction’s Featured Story) and a standalone short called The Lost Fae Realms. In a bid to save some much needed cash, I threw my fear of crappy art skills to the wind and created the covers myself (as you may or may not be able to tell…)
In the sleepy backwater of Dunraven Road, a group of hedonistic friends are trapped in a deadly prison of their own making. When Zach, their enigmatic leader, brings his long term plans to fruition and paves the way for a sadistic vampire cult, their fragile world begins to break apart.
Fuelled by dangerous passions and an insatiable craving for ‘red’, the group must decide whether to succumb to the sweet lure of the abyss, or stand and fight for their very survival.
Devil the First…
Luxuriating beneath the Spanish sun, the most unlikely of vampires plies his trade in awe and seduction; the master of his realm until a fragile human girl appears intent on tearing his comfortable world apart.
Devil the Second…
Tired and bored during her vigil in the lab one night, a lowly technician wonders what it would be like to approach the beast in her care, to feel his immense power pulsing in the skin just beneath her finger tips. One scratch later and she finds herself sweating in her bed, dreaming of flying across the forest floor on sure feet, propelled by the bunched muscles of a colossal animal. Will she be able to return to her ordinary life when she wakes?
Devil the Third…
Marisa, a terrifying vision of beauty and madness, contemplates an eternity of solitude when her only fledging becomes a bitter disappointment who breaks her heart and scatters the last of her sanity.
Three short stories, three deliciously seductive yet ultimately cruel characters from the author of dark fantasy novels Dunraven Road and Jinn Nation.
After a century of sleep Briana wakes up alone, naked, terrified and seared with blue flame. Once she had been part of a great and wise population, known by humans as fairies, elves or angels. They were explained away in folk stories, made tiny and inconsistent. None of the stories grasped their true power, their ultimate purpose.
But that was a lifetime ago. Now the fae have been extinguished, brought down by petty mortal disease as the earth itself sickened and failed. Briana believes her kin are all dead, but another has survived. Amid the filth and desperation of a human tent city her brother Jinx has set himself up as a god, pushing Total World Immersion upon the miserable population. If you can imagine it, you can programme it and actually feel as if you are there. A city, a garden, a vast ship sailing the ocean. Anything is possible. TWI technology has both revolutionised and divided the modern world. Some think TWI is evil. They worry that humanity will never want to venture forth into the real world again, not when the realms of the imagination are so much richer. But Jinx argues that these people have nothing left to venture into. Will Briana join Jinx in what she sees as a betrayal of their own kind and their love of the earth, or will she walk away from her only kin and forge her own path in this terrifying new world?
I was quite proud of my little self, particularly with the Trio of Devils cover because it actually incorporates three different pictures (if there are any graphic designers out there reading this, you’re probably trying not to laugh but this was quite a feat for me!) When I showed them to my digital art loving sister and her digital art dabbling boyfriend however, I was met with raised eyebrows and barely disguised smirks. Apparently The Lost Fae Realms cover is “too busy” and the models on the A Trio of Devils cover look like they’re trying too hard to be “goth”. Sigh. They did like the fonts though…
I stumbled across this a couple of weeks ago, an interactive book cover: Daylight Saving by Edward Hogan
Just try running your mouse over it, it’s strangely hypnotic. It seems like a fairly simple idea but if all ebook covers become interactive, I may have to give up my amateur efforts, dig deep and find a professional designer. I particularly like the “Share” button on the bottom, very clever; although I wonder how it would work with a non-watery themed novel?
Before I go, I just wanted to mention that my novel Jinn Nation is currently part of Patti Roberts’s Christmas Bloggerthon. This is a massive competition spanning three blogs in which you have the chance to win one of 90+ ebooks. From Patti’s website: 3 bloggers will battle it be the first with 100 new followers. Lots of different ebook titles on each blog means – Lots of WINNERS! You’d be crazy not to enter for an opportunity to win!!! New ebook titles and covers coming soon…..Keep and eye out for Author Interviews… Reviews and more on your bloggers site! Find out more and enter.
The Sprogling says... See you next time, puny mortals! Mwahaha!
The Jinn Are Coming…
Finally, I have a publication date for Jinn Nation! I’m officially setting it for a week’s time – Saturday 2 July, although you’ll probably be able to purchase the Amazon Kindle version a lot sooner. I’m planning to cover the other major ebook readers too, so don’t feel left out if you own a Nook or an iPad. It will also be available as a paperback in the very near future. So if you like novels about sadistic vampires with a vulnerable streak, unhinged psychics and beautiful goddesses with a penchant for megalomania, all set against a global stage, like my Facebook page or follow my Twitter feed to be among the first to know where and how to buy it. You can read an exclusive extract at my website.
Here’s the cover I’ve been so excited about:
This is so much better than anything I could have come up with on my own; I’m so glad that the rather excellent Andy Isaacs agreed to do it for me (my knowledge of graphic design is painfully limited).
As happens with most things I attempt to do within any sort of sensible timeframe, the publication date is a little later than I’d planned. Most days I’ve been working with the Sprogling firmly tucked into one elbow, leaving me with only one hand to type with. I love that she’s a cuddly baby, but the fact that she usually hates to be put down for any length of time does make life interesting. Especially if you desperately need to do the housework or take a shower. She’s also started to smile properly now (she’s 9 weeks old today), so obviously every time she does it, all work has to stop while I marvel at how gorgeous she is.
Proof! (or just an excuse to show off more pictures of my newborn, you decide).
I’ve just realised that I’ve laid all the blame for my own slackness on my child. Shameful. Well, my next project shouldn’t take me so long to finish. I’ve just reacquired the rights to my first novel, Dunraven Road, and I’m planning on republishing it with a shiny new cover and bonus material in the very near future. After that I’ll be continuing to write my new novel – one-handed no less, with a smiling Sprogling curled against my arm
Headlines and Deadlines
I’m still excited about my new venture into indie publishing but I’m also starting to get freaked out by my own self-imposed deadlines (eek). You see, there’s a rather major thing happening right now that I haven’t blogged about yet… I’m expecting my very first Sprogling (i.e. baby) very soon (April soon, in fact!) and although I’d planned to publish Jinn Nation before she arrives, I’m getting scared by the scarce amount of time I seem to have left. Still so much to do! I’ve decided to just chill the hell out and see how it goes. I’m aiming for an early April release (book, not baby! – she’s not due until the 13th 
) but if I have to wait until after she’s born, I’ll just approve proofs, update websites and promote in-between nappy changes. They do sleep sometimes, right?…
I realise this all makes me sound a lot less excited than I actually am about the impending Sprogling… I actually can’t wait for her to get here, making my current relationship with the notion of time rather complicated. Sigh.
So what of Jinn Nation? Plans for its publication are definitely progressing, whether or not I have the occasional freak-out to suggest otherwise. The cover is currently in the hands of a very talented designer and I’ve been so excited about the drafts I’ve seen so far – it’s going to be awesome! I’ve also redesigned my website to include the book (feel free to laugh at my meagre excuse for a Jinn Nation cover – it’s just a placeholder until the real thing is ready ) and my first indie effort – The Undead Alliance. I didn’t code a thing this time, which only felt mildly weird! Instead, I signed up with Wix.com where you can build a free Flash website entirely online in a drag and drop stylee. You have to put up with a small banner across the bottom of your webpage (you can pay for a premium package that gets rid of this), but I was really impressed with the amount of effects and features you can use. I had fun anyway Wix also host the pages on their own servers. Go check me out now I’m all Flashy! – www.carolinebarnardsmith.co.uk
I’ve also finally perfected the blurb for Jinn Nation:
In Dunraven Road, Dylan wanted to tear the world down – now he only wants to find his place in it.
Once, the vampire Dylan had feared nothing and no one. He’d rampaged throughout the world on a seemingly never ending quest to fill his eternal years with the finest, most outrageous extravagances; with exquisite, soft-limbed young women and copious amounts of rich, vibrating blood. But life, however full of joy, inevitably changes.
Finding himself alone for the first time in his long unlife, Dylan turns to the preternatural race of savage creatures called the jinn – a path that inevitably leads him to Christa, a strangely childlike woman with the power to control minds and read thoughts. Mutually intrigued by each other, they set out on a blood-soaked road trip that crosses the United States and the Atlantic Ocean; finally leading them beyond the world itself to the mysterious fae kingdoms of the Inbetween.
What do you think? Suitably appetite-whetting? I’ve tried to include more detail than I did in Dunraven Road’s blurb, because I remember being told it didn’t give enough away to make some readers want to buy it. Which sucked, obviously.
I’m hoping to have a sample of the novel up on my website by next week.
Just before I sign off, I have to mention this blog post by indie author Katie Salidas: Self-Publishing & Marketing Advice – What I’ve learned this past year. If, like me, you’re new to all this indie publishing malarkey (or to being published in general), the information in this blog is seriously worth checking out. Invaluable.
I’m off now to complete some more final polishes on Jinn Nation, here’s hoping I’m less freaked out the next time I blog!
Cazz’s Radio Debut
This has been an exciting week in the life of Dunraven Road. I’ve received reviews from TeensReadToo, who said that “DUNRAVEN ROAD was an enjoyable way to curl up and pass the evening. Although, granted, it’s not one I’d want to read on a dark night, alone!” (mission accomplished!); Mookychick, who described the book as “…a refreshing change of pace from the bloated, sugary-sweet Twilights of this world. A novel about the often bittersweet pain of passionate love set against a backdrop of sadism, drug abuse and violent inhumanity – this will appeal to fans of real vampires with bite” (ace!); and Fatally Yours, who confirmed a lot of the feedback I’ve been getting when they said “As for the human characters who take center stage for most of the book, unfortunately they are a rather unlikable group. Most are hopeless addicts, womanizers, cheaters, thieves, killers or doormats. Also, it takes a while for anyone to be identified as the lead character in the book… the story itself is nonetheless engaging… so that you wanted to keep reading” (very fair comments… I think I’ve unwittingly created a bit of an Emma. No, I haven’t written a novel about gossip and privilege in an isolated English village, but I do seem to have created characters that not many people can warm to, yet they’ve still enjoyed the story. I’m strangely proud of that because if I don’t like the characters in a novel, I usually don’t continue reading it. Jane Austen wrote of Emma: “I am going to take a heroine whom no-one but myself will much like”; and I suppose I did the same with my character, Sapphire. Everyone seems to like the vampire Dylan though, which is handy because he’s currently in the last stages of starring in his very own sequel )
The week culminated with my interview on the reassuringly nice Mr Richard Green’s afternoon show on BBC Radio Devon. I’m pleased (and extremely relieved!) to announce that I didn’t say anything butt-clenchingly awful during my first live radio interview. I had worried about this event all week, trying to guess what his questions might be and coming up with suitable imaginary answers (although when I told Richard I’d been doing this after the interview, he gave me a very strange look…) After actually getting into the BBC Radio Devon building – I had to go through the strange rigmarole of holding a button in to speak through a locked door (“Um, hello, I’m Caroline Barnard-Smith!”) – I sat with my mum in the lobby (she was so excited about my first radio outing, I couldn’t keep her away) and made ridiculous small talk to allay the knowledge that I was about to speak to the third largest county in the UK live on air, not to mention all the friends and family members who were waiting with baited breath to hear the show online. Mum was quite content to wait in the lobby and listen to me over the tannoy system, but when she was told she could sit-in in the actual studio, she jumped at the chance. That was her first mistake. I’m sure when Richard Green told her that anyone inside the studio was expected to speak on the air and placed an obscenely large microphone in front of her face, she wished she’d waited in the car with my husband. She could have joined him as he listened to me while chewing on his fist, hoping I didn’t say anything ridiculously stupid that I could never live down. Ah, the sweet benefit of hindsight.
I was placed opposite Richard and provided with my own obscenely large microphone; which stared at me and dared me to answer his questions like some squat, eyeless monster. Thankfully, I refrained from descending into a mute panic attack and actually provided answers I was fairly satisfied with. He asked me about my background and about growing up in Devon (“As you can probably tell by the accent, I’m an Essex girl”); then moved on to my inspirations and my reasons for wanting to be a writer. During one short break, he asked me if it was sexist to wonder why a woman would want to write about vampires and horror (!) When I told him I’d always loved Buffy the Vampire Slayer and she was a feminist icon if ever there was one, he omitted that particular question once we returned to the air…
I’d like to thank Richard Green and BBC Radio Devon for having me and for making me feel so comfortable when I was nervous
I’ve uploaded the interview to YouTube so if you fancy a listen, follow this link. Listen out for my mum’s cameo appearance! My dad still hasn’t let her forget about the “bursting” comment… Poor woman!
Independent Hell
Everyone is always telling readers and authors to support their local bookshops. ‘They’re run by people who are truly passionate about the written word!’, they cry. ‘The large chains are evil, corporate monsters who only care about screwing profit from writers and publishers’. Well, I’ve tried to support my independents, I really have, but apart from a few notable exceptions, I seem to be hitting a brick wall.
Eager to get my book into more brick and mortar shops, I pitched up at a local independent this week, my bag full of pristine copies of Dunraven Road. Now, I don’t expect every bookshop to kneel before me and beg to stock my novel. Besides the fact that would be both disturbing and inappropriate, I am fully aware that I’m an unknown, first time author trying to distinguish myself in a world crammed to the rafters with unknown authors. Give me a cheery thanks, but no thanks, and I’ll be on my way. Simple. But what happened at this particular shop has left me reeling.
After asking what my book was about, the owner took the copy I offered her (practically between forefinger and thumb), before announcing, “It contains the words ‘bitch’ and ‘fucking’”. (After flipping through some more pages) “We don’t stock this sort of thing”.
At this point, I would have been happy to leave. Ignoring the belittling fact that she called my work “this sort of thing”, I can appreciate that Dunraven Road isn’t for everyone. There’s gore. There’s sex. Swear words are sprinkled about with wild abandon. My uncle told me he needed a stroll in his garden after reading some particularly distressing passages (which I took as solid proof that I’d accomplished what I’d set out to do!) I was therefore not offended by the shop owner’s rejection. That was, until she continued…
“What genre is it?”
“Well, it’s categorised as dark fantasy.”
“Hmmm (still peering at my book and riffling through the pages), we don’t stock dark fantasy. I would only stock what I’m comfortable with and I can’t even watch horror films. My customers like the fact that any book in here can be read by anyone of any age.”
“So you don’t stock vampire fiction?” I asked, rather incredulously.
“Oh no, no, nothing like that,” she retorted with the sort of superior smile I assume she reserves for customers asking to order The Big Book of Breasts or Blowjobs For Dummies (okay, I made those up )
She then launched into a lengthy spiel about the sort of book they do stock – mysteries (“They have to be well written. Style is important to me because I was an English teacher for thirty years”) and children’s books that can also be enjoyed by adults (i.e. Sir Harry of sodding Potter). While she was talking, I was still finding it hard to reign in my shock over her disregard for vampire fiction. She obviously didn’t know about the current Twilight madness gripping the entire planet, or the fact that two major US TV shows have debuted this year, both based on bestselling vampire fiction (L.J. Smith’s The Vampire Diaries and Charlaine Harris’s The Southern Vampire Mysteries). But she knew about Harry Potter. Sheesh, nothing gets past her! I wonder what she would make of these novels seeing as the Twilight series and The Vampire Diaries are both written for young adults. There may be no ‘fucking’ or ‘bitch’ involved, but the frankly disturbing birth of Bella’s child in Breaking Dawn would probably give her nightmares for weeks – yet these books were written by a mormon and are hailed as a shining literary example of how to hang onto your virtue. Would the shop owner have told Stephanie Meyer they “don’t stock this sort of thing”?!
Just as I was about to ask for my book back, turn on my heel and run like the wind, the shop owner noticed the £11.99 retail price. Cue another lengthy spiel about how people don’t like paying that sort of money for a book. All this while looking as if I’d just hopped up on her counter and dumped a load next to the till. That sort of multi-tasking is a genuine talent.
Seeing as she was shocked to hear that I’d found the address of her shop on the internet, I should have told her: If you’re worried about staying competitive against the major bookshop chains, I’d be less concerned about price and more concerned about not having a web presence (let alone an online ordering system), or not keeping up to date with current trends in fiction. If you don’t stock “this sort of thing”, I suppose that also vetoes Stephen King, Neil Gaiman, Clive Barker, Anne Rice… I could go on and on… All extremely successful, bestselling authors. How is this shop making money?!
Just as I was losing the will to live – the shop owner pulled one more gem out of her sleeve: “Would you consider writing something more suitable for the shop?”
What?!
Yes, certainly. I’ll go home right now and whip up 100, 000 words of nice, fluffy mystery story starring annoying middleclass children with ridiculous names, convince someone to publish it, wait for it to be printed; and run it up to your shop just as fast as I can.
Idiot.
The Twilight Diaries?
I have some news that is both exciting and pant-wettingly terrifying in equal measure – I’m going to be appearing on Richard Green’s afternoon show on BBC Radio Devon to talk about my book, vampires and life in the Westcountry. If you want to tune in, I’ll be on at 2.30 on Friday October 9. If you’re in the UK, you can listen live online, or catch it later on the BBC iPlayer. I’ve never done anything like this before so it may well be, um, interesting…
I finally got around to watching the first episode of The Vampire Diaries and was pleasantly impressed. I wasn’t expecting another Buffy the Vampire Slayer but I was hoping it was going to be better than True Blood (I can’t help it, even after getting excited over the awesome pilot, I’m just not warming to big-headed, self-important Sookie Stackhouse). Main character, Elena, seemed to have some actual balls; and I was genuinely interested in the mystery surrounding the return of vampire Stefan (did anyone else think he looked like a younger Angel?) and the feud between him and his brother, Damon. There were a couple of ‘oh my god!’ moments… The terrible, fake stage smoke that filled the graveyard and frightened Elena away immediately springs to mind; as does Candice Accola’s full-on, vixen act as Caroline Forbes (do teenagers really behave that way? Really?!) Overall, I enjoyed it and I’m loving the fact that Twilight mania has led to such a healthy crop of new vampire shows (even if I’m not loving the Twilight bit…) But I have to say that British offering, Being Human, is still yet to be beaten. This is a series about a vampire, a werewolf and a ghost sharing a house in Bristol. It sounds like it should be crap but I actually found it was scarily addictive (and truly scary… werewolf transformations have freaked me out ever since Michael Jackson’s Thriller video gave me persistent nightmares as a kid). Plus, series one ended on a completely genius cliff hanger.
I’m not surprised The Vampire Diaries was fairly decent; it was, after all, based on the novels of the same name by L.J. Smith. I became addicted to her Night World series when I was an impressionable teenager and devoured them as quickly as my local library could stock them. I think Smith’s work is better written and more engaging that Stephanie Meyer’s (gasp!) Plus, her female characters aren’t simpering Victorians who will give up everything to be with a freaky, glowing stalker. L.J. Smith has just returned to writing after a 10-year hiatus due to family problems; during which she left the Night World fans who were expecting a spectacular conclusion coinciding with the millennium, firmly in suspense. I remember being extremely frustrated by this at the time, but there’s good news for new fans of the Night World series: The long-awaited conclusion, Strange Fate, will finally be published in April 2010.
What Happened to Summer?!
I’m a very, very bad blogger – I haven’t posted since July. Apparently, in order to create a successful blog you have to post several times a week. Well, I post several times a year, does that count?! In my defence, I have been keeping myself busy. I’m very nearly into writing the last part of Jinn Nation (A.K.A. The New Book) and have a much better idea of how it will end. I’ve had a birthday so I’m now (eek!) twenty-seven and can no longer claim to be in my “early twenties” – sigh. Since coming out of the woolly closet and admitting my love of fibre arts, I’ve also created an Etsy shop where I’ll be selling weird-looking dolls, unique sweaters and other pieces of knitted fabulousness
My sister’s birthday is just a few days before mine, so because something you’ve made yourself is the best present (and because I’m currently poorer than a church mouse with an employment-hindering limp and a speech impediment), I spent the best part of August whipping up these visual delights:
My attempt at Andy Warhol from Carol Meldrum’s Knitted Icons: 25 Celebrity Doll Patterns
One very happy birthday girl
This is a cropped sweater with long sleeves that end in fingerless gloves. Psst! I’m offering these sweaters for sale at my Etsy Shop!
Something else that’s occupied a lot of my time has been the promotion of Dunraven Road. Easier said than done. I’ve been emailing reviewers, phoning local book shops and badgering my local press. Thankfully, my efforts weren’t in vain and (among others) I’m currently waiting on book reviews from the rather fabulous Harry at Temple Library Reviews and from the nice folks at TeensReadToo. I’ve also managed to get some copies of the book into my local bookshops. If you’re in the South Devon, UK area and are hankering for a dark fantasy novel about love, addiction and vampires in the faded backstreets of a fictional Devon town (that’s actually based on St Marychurch in Torquay), you can now purchase Dunraven Road from The Torbay Bookshop, Paignton, WH Smith, Torquay and WH Smith, Teignmouth.
Now, I think I’ve skived off long enough and I need to get back to Jinn Nation…
2009: The Summer of Vampires
Just a quick post to let you all know that Dunraven Road will be published on June 20 and is now available to pre-order! Head on over to Immanion Press to secure your very own copy. After all, what is summer without sadistic vampires and dangerous underground cults in the back streets of Devon?
You can read the first chapter on my website.
I’m also on Facebook, so feel free to sign up if you want to be kept updated on news and announcements… The excitement never ends!
I Would Like to Thank…
I had absolutely no idea how hard writing dedications and acknowledgements can be. Forget the synopsis, the blurb or the round after round of editing. I think I spent more time agonising over these few bare lines of text than I did over any of them. Well, that might be a slight exaggeration concerning the editing, but it certainly felt like the agonising took longer. It all boils down to not wanting to upset anyone, I suppose.
The dedication was exceptionally difficult. I already knew who I wanted to dedicate Dunraven Road to (I’ve always known), and yet I felt bad for those I would have to pass over. In reality, my first novel is a product of all the people around me and they each deserve a dedication. My husband nagged me to keep writing on the days I didn’t feel like it. My mum proofread the early drafts and gave me the best kind of non-biased criticism. Then there’s the rest of my family who have been so excited for me at every stage of the process. My dad is already planning how many copies he’s going to buy and who he will give them to. My sister has told everyone she knows about it and can’t wait to see the finished product; as has my nan who, I’m reliably told, has been bragging to her bowls team, the staff at the charity shop where she volunteers, the neighbours, distant family members and probably the greater part of West Sussex. Incidentally, both my nans have told me they will read the book and the thought of them doing so fills me with an odd sense of horror. Will they think less of me when they get to the parts about people being skinned alive? Or the scene in which a character’s blood is drained with a giant funnel? Hmmm…
Apparently I’m not alone with this dedication-struggle. In fact, whole books have been written on the subject. An article by Edward Docx over at The Telegraph website sums my problem up perfectly: “There are some novelists who will tell you that it’s the characters or the plot that cause all the trouble, or the research, or the pacing, or managing point of view, or controlling tone; but you would do better not to believe them. All of these are exasperating. But the thing that really screws you up is the dedication.”
I could have solved my dilemma by dedicating the book to more than one person. J.K. Rowling dedicated the first Harry Potter book to “Jessica, who loves stories, for Anne, who loved them too, and for Di, who heard this one first.” If I had done this though, the dedication would have been as long as the acknowledgements (which isn’t actually that long, but still…)
Then there’s the question of what to write. Do you dedicate the book to or for the chosen person? Do you include some sort of message? I even went so far as to look at other author’s dedications for inspiration. Here are some of my favourites:
TO MY WIFE AND MY COUSIN:* Because there I was with an empty gun and you, Roy, supplied the ammunition and you, Anne, directed my aim. – Thieves Like Us by Edward Anderson
*Thank God he didn’t leave it at that!
For Beatrice – You will always be in my heart, In my mind, And in your grave. – The Austere Academy (A Series of Unfortunate Events Vol. 5) by Lemony Snicket
To all those who lead monotonous lives in the hope that they experience at second hand the delights and dangers of adventure – The Secret Adversary by Agatha Christie
This book is dedicated to my bank balance – Silly Verse for Kids by Spike Milligan
In the end, I included the people I didn’t dedicate the book to in the list of acknowledgements. Hopefully everyone will be happy. Plus, I can always sweeten them up by insisting that the next book will be dedicated to them. Or the one after that.
And no, I won’t tell you who I dedicated it to. You’ll have to buy a copy when it’s published and find out
