Web Travails – January 2012

So, in the first of what I hope will be an ongoing series to document the sometimes strange and interesting places I end up on the web, here’s where I’ve been lurking this month…

Have you ever thought about an actor you haven’t heard about for ages and wondered what they’re up to now? Maybe it’s just me having nothing better to think about but I do it all the time (what, for instance, happened to Rachael Leigh Cook from She’s All That? Okay, a quick search on imdb.com has revealed she’s been working all this time but I’m not a Robot Chicken fan so how would I know? Speaking of She’s All That, I watched another similar-but-not-really Freddie Prinze Jr. offering called Down to You on Netflix last night. It wasn’t great. Why did Freddie and Julia Stiles fall out so easily? Why did he pine after her for so bloody long instead of growing a pair and moving on? Why was he not locked up by the nice men in white coats for drinking shampoo of all things? What the hell was up with Julia Stiles’s walk?! Anyway, I’ve digressed…) Another actress you might not have heard about for a while is Heather Donahue from The Blair Witch Project.

You remember her now, right? – the hysterical girl with the bungee jumping snot. Well, it turns out she’s been growing medicinal marijuana since 2007. I kid you not; she’s even written a book about it:

I should thank Gef of Wag the Fox for posting this on Facebook. Closer inspection of Growgirl: How My Life After the Blair Witch Project Went to Pot actually reveals it to be well written and more than a little intriguing, starting with Donahue’s life as a sometime actress and charting the ensuing fallout from Blair Witch Project media mania. It’s not available for Kindle though

When I’m not obsessing over the fate of late 1990′s teen movie stars, I love reading about other writers’ lives, particularly anything about how they write. It’s probably something that’s only of interest to another writer, but Susannah Conway’s interview with dark fantasy author Justine Musk is a really interesting example of this. She talks about how her ideas come to her (often while rocking out in her car, of course), how a daily word count doesn’t work for her and how she deals with writer’s block. If you’re into this kind of thing, Susannah has a whole series of interviews like this on her blog. They’re called My Creative Life and they’re excellent.

My favourite photograph this month is this portrait of a girl with the most beautiful red hair found at ThatBohemianGirl.

Wouldn’t she make a great character in a story?

Finally, I found this site yesterday – Baby Goth Knits – and instantly wanted to own/make everything on it. BabyGothKnitter, site founder and self-confessed ex-hellraiser and mother of three, makes all her knits herself and sells them on eBay and Etsy. Her stuff’s reasonably priced too.

I am so in lust.

Maddening Mental Lethargy – Part Two

As promised, I have dutifully tried out Write or Die, a web-based programme designed by the aptly named Dr Wicked that claims to put “the ‘prod’ in productivity”. The verdict is… I rather love it, actually

The programme is really easy to use. You simply input how many words you want to write and in which length of time (I selected 2000 words in 2 hours), and choose from a selection of increasingly fiendish modes which include Kamikaze and Electric Shock. Kamikaze Mode is particularly evil as once the screen glows red, if you still haven’t typed any new words it starts to delete what you’ve already written. I used Normal Mode and a Strict grace period, which still makes the screen flash red if you stop typing but plays Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up over and over if you don’t continue – which in many ways is even worse than deleting your work (does this mean I’ve been Rickrolled?!). My husband hated it anyway, so much so that after the fourth or fifth blast of Rick’s dulcet tones, he had to leave the room (oops! Heh, heh, heh).

Write or Die really worked for me. Of course, I did discover it’s very easy to cheat just by pressing the space bar and making the programme believe you’re typing real words… but why would you want to do that, hmmm? The only downsides are you can’t properly format your work as you go, and you have to remember to copy and paste it into Word (or whatever you’re using) before closing the page down because it doesn’t do it for you (and I’d imagine if you lost everything you’d written after listening to Rick Astley multiple times, you’d seriously consider some form of self harm). But it’s free

Sooo… I promised to share more ways of overcoming maddening mental lethargy (or lazy blocked writerism). Some of these are things I’ve devised myself. Others are little tipettes I’ve discovered on my internet travels. Enjoy! And if you’re currently suffering from a crippling mental malaise, I sincerely hope one of these works for you.

* Spend some time writing something completely different, like a blog post or an article – if only to remind yourself that you can write. It’s also amazing what ideas can be shaken loose just by putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), whether you’re working on your novel/story or not.

* Put your novel down and read someone else’s. This might sound silly, but sometimes when you become focussed on finishing your own novel, you stop reading regularly. There’s a reason that the standard answer to the question “how do I become a writer?” is to read a lot and write a lot. Reading helps to inform our ideas about the world as well as about literature. It can inspire us and widen our vocabulary, thus making you a better writer (or at least a writer with more ideas and enough drive to finish their own damn novel).

* I like the idea of lucid writing – of sitting down for half an hour before you begin work on your current novel and scribbling down the first things that come to mind, just to warm up your writing muscles. I’ve always thought it’s a great shame to waste anything though, least of all something creative, whether or not it’s barely legible scribbling (if you haven’t noticed yet, I can be hideously anal). So why not take this idea and start a diary, instead? Write in it every day, or before every writing session, and get the words flowing ready to transfer to your novel.

* Don’t force yourself to be a certain type of writer, everybody does things differently. Some can write a consistent 3000 words a day and turn out two or three books a year. Some take lots of time out in-between projects to think about their story, to plan and research and take intricate notes. It takes time and lots of practice before you find out what sort of writer you are. Try different methods – write at different times of the day, set word limit goals and see if you can stick to them, make timelines and plans, interview your characters – find out what works for you and then be proud of your personal method, don’t listen to others if they try to tell you it’s wrong. If you write 500 good words a day, you’ll still end up with a completed novel eventually.

* Any fellow knitting geek will know the difference between an epic project and a mindless project. Epic projects take lots of time and concentration, often involving cables, intarsia or unusual stitch patterns. Mindless projects, on the other hand, can be completed in front of a book or the TV. They are simple, easy to remember patterns that can reignite the simple joy of knitting, of pulling one loop through another, when an epic project begins to feel impossible or endless. This same theory can be applied to writing. If your epic project (or novel) begins to feel like a never-ending odyssey, start writing something fun, even ridiculous. I took time off from writing my first novel, Dunraven Road, to start a novella about zombies in love called The Undead Alliance. I wrote it quickly because I enjoyed every minute of it, and I was able to remind myself why I had wanted to be a writer in the first place. Consequently, Dunraven Road was finished soon afterwards and The Undead Alliance was published by Twisted Tongue magazine.

Does anyone have any tips of their own they’d like to share? What gives you a mental kick up your back side?

Maddening Mental Lethargy – Part One

I once wrote on this blog that I wished someone would invent… “a machine that could download the stories in my brain, bypassing the agonising process of eeking it out line by line and criticising it as I go…” Well, I’ve been wondering about this. Not about the existence of such a machine (come on, they still haven’t invented those Back to the Future hoverboards they promised us!), but why I feel the need for one. After all, isn’t writing (and having that writing published) a vocation that millions of people around the world would love to be in a position to do? Why then, is it sometimes so hard to sit down and actually do it?!

You might have guessed that I’m currently in this same uncomfortable position – I have the ideas and the notes but I’m struggling to find the will to assemble them into something resembling the last part of my new novel. Which is annoying to say the least, if only because it is the last part; the portion of a novel where the author should be hurtling towards the finish line with a clear idea of how it will end, desperate to see the final sentence laid down. I wouldn’t call this predicament writers’ block. That would suggest I simply have no idea what happens next and that isn’t true. So what exactly is this malaise?; this maddening mental lethargy? In a quest to overcome it once and for all, I decided to rake through the net and see if I could come up with a solution. Interestingly, I found several Hence, in an effort to actually finish my bloody novel (I had planned to have the first draft completed by the end of October after all…) I’ll be trialling some of them. If nothing else, it will give me something else to blog about (you wouldn’t believe how boring my life actually is!)

The National Novel Writing Month website seemed a good place to start my search for a mental lethargy cure. I think most people will have heard of NaNoWriMo, but just in case you haven’t… It’s a yearly challenge to write a 50,000-word novel from start to finish in the space of just a month. Some people participate and complete their 50,000-word goal every year, which I find highly commendable because I tried it once while I was still at university and flaked out somewhere around the 15,000-word mark. Anyway, this type of pressure-intense writing has obviously led to the sharing of tips on the NaNoWriMo forums in order to help others achieve their word quotas. Here are some of my favourites (I haven’t included any names. I hope the very helpful WriMos whose words I’ve pinched don’t mind my reproducing them here…):

“Do something crazy to change up your novel and get it going again. Have a…a…fairy! Have a fairy come to your protagnoist (sic) and give them a gift of great courage so that they can…save…the fairy princess?”

This is a really good idea Now, what weird and crazy thing can I have happen to darling Dylan? (heh, heh, heh…)

“I find writing in longhand about a page (if you’re writing on a computer like I am) when my eyes are tired or can’t access a computer, then I type it out, but adding in stuff. You can double what you’ve written, but keeping on task!”

I actually do this sometimes when my brain’s being particularly stubborn. I think it helps because I can change my location and move away from the PC screen. I never write as much in longhand as I do when I type (my hand starts to cramp!), but it gives me a jumping-off point for the next time I sit down to write.

“I believe my saviour will be the Write or Die application. If you haen’t (sic) come across this it’s brilliant. You can set it to normal or kamikaze (I choose the latter because I like to think of myself as hardcore, hmm). You enter your desired word count for the session and how long the session will last then type like buggery. If you are on normal setting and you stop typing for too long the screen goes red and then an excrutiaingly (sic) annoying noise of your choice (choose from such wonders as babies crying, devil’s violins or an air raid siren) blasts from your computer until you start typing again. On kamikaze the screen goes red then it starts deleting what you’ve written one word at a time. Also you can’t access anything else on your computer whilst it’s open. I find it motivates me enough to blast out upt (sic) to 2000 words an hour.”

Okay, this I have to try.

“What I’d suggest is picking out a day, when (if you work) you have the day off – be it Sunday or whenever – and (if you ave (sic) other commitments) you either have none or they are not compulsory. Set that day aside, clear it completely. Set out a timetable. An hour of writing, have an hour procrastinating, and hour of writing… And so on! (please, please, leave time for food and drink and toilet breaks. We don’t want to be too drastic) It really helps, believe me.”

Planning time for procrastination… Genius!

So, after much perusal of the NaNoWriMo forums (yes, when I should have been writing!), I’ve decided to give the Write or Die method a go. As a bonus, the noise of an air raid siren blaring out when I stop typing will startle my poor unsuspecting husband and thus amuse me endlessly. I’ve checked out the website and you can either use the free web based version, or download the desktop edition for a rather nominal $10.

Wish me luck! A review of this imminent insanity will follow shortly

Girl, Interrupted

It’s hard to write when you’re low. In a funk. Angry with your own crappy circumstances. I wouldn’t call it writers’ block. I have plans, outlines, all that good stuff. I’m just lacking the confidence to get anything of substance down on paper (or computer, whatever). I look at where I last left off, read a couple of paragraphs, change a couple of words… and come away believing it’s the biggest pile of crap I’ve ever seen. I don’t think it’s helping that I will be 26 in just under a month and two of my most revered literary idols were first published (and successfully so, I should add) when they were 25. I knew it was unrealistic to aim for this same goal, but I did any way. If I could emulate their careers in the same time span, it would validate my worth as a writer. It would prove that not only am I a decent writer, I was decent enough to be published at a young age. That was the convoluted reasoning, any way. This will not do…

Basically, the novel-in-two-months mega plan hasn’t come to pass. Big surprise. Maybe I was overly ambitious. Maybe a lot. Maybe I should stop whining and force myself to write something, even if I hate every word of it.

I have whole novels in my head, complete with fully realised characters waiting for me to give them voice and purpose. Sometimes I think they must get really pissed off with me. It’s as if they stand beside me, whispering ‘bloody get on with it, would you? I’m bored. And you suck.’ Sounds like a load of maniacal shite, but hey, it’s my head.

If anyone ever invents a machine that could download the stories in my brain, bypassing the agonising process of eeking it out line by line and criticising it as I go, I’ll be the first in the queue. Because that would rule. Although, I’m not sure I’d want a Matrix-style plug in the back of my head…

Okay, time to force myself to eek out some crap, uh, I mean gleaming prose.

Oh, and why do I care about Facebook? People you knew years ago ask to be your ‘friend’, you accept and then they never contact you again. I should delete my account and leave the stupid thing alone, and yet…

At least I can prowl around their photos and see who got ugly. That always makes me feel better

Addendum: I’ve just gone away and forced myself to sit tight and write something… and I enjoyed it Whoop de whoop, keep it comin’!